Liveblog: Canada vs. El Salvador

8:16 - Here we are, boys and girls! Kickoff's just after 9:00, so I'll do my best to make it back here in time for that - might be a few minutes late. But there *will* be liveblogging!

8:53 - And we're back! With time to spare! Sportsnet is currently showing a special on the top fights in UFC history (a multi-part special)...#32 is Randy Couture vs. Gabriel Gonzaga. If that's a metaphor for tonight, hopefully we're not Gonzaga. And #31 is Quinton Jackson vs. Dan Henderson.

8:56 - Maybe I'm cynical, but based on the recap at the end, this seems heavily biased towards fights from the last few years (i.e. people who are still good enough that UFC can promote around them). The thing's been around since 1993, you know. BRING ON THE SOCCER!

8:58 - Or not. First let's have one of those "sports highlights set to a popular song" videos Sportsnet loves so much. The song in this case is "Ain't No Rest For The Wicked", which shows better taste than usual on their part.

9:01 - Your announcers for this game are Gerry Dobson and Craig Forrest. Craig is widely known as one of the best soccer players Canada has ever produced, and also as the goalie for Ipswich when they lost to Manchester United 9-0. This isn't a contradiction, apparently.

9:04 - For anyone who thinks El Salvador is a minor nation which doesn't deserve this much attention, you may be right - they're ranked 90th in the world. Unfortunately, Canada is 92nd.

9:06 - Josh Simpson replaces Marcel de Jong in the midfield. De Jong wasn't spectacular against Jamaica, but he was far from our worst player. Expect the pace of these updates to slow a bit now, as soccer 'action' doesn't exactly lend itself to liveblogging.

9:08 - I think I hear people singing along to O Canada. Crowd singing is awesome, but only when you're sure it's actually happening.

9:12 - Sportsnet is using 'SLV' as the acronym for our Latin opposition. For a moment I thought Slovenia had somehow earned themselves a spot in the North American soccer championships.

9:17 - Dobson's not even one of the top five soccer play-by-play guys in the country, but he's far and away the best Sportsnet's got. At least they're not forcing Rob Faulds on us.

9:18 - And I must say, he's doing a much better job tonight than in the opener. He's got all the players down by name, whereas the first half of the Jamaica game he had no clue who had the ball.

9:22 - Today's Toronto Sun gave Ali Gerba the nickname 'Ali G'. It's simple, but I approve. I wonder if our Ali G can tell the difference between WMDs and BLTs.

9:27 - I hear trumpets from the crowd. Trumpets make everything better. (This is the subject of a blog post I've been wanting to make for a while.)

9:29 - Trumpet! Trumpet! Toot! Toot!

9:30 - El Salvador with a free kick near the box, but they miss the net. Lucky us.

9:35 - It should be mentioned that Mssrs. Dobson and Forrest are calling this game off a monitor from Sportsnet's Toronto studio. Against Jamaica, Dobson was constantly hinting at his (without realizing it) with comments like "you see there", "there's Player X", and other things that made it obvious he wasn't at the stadium. Not the case tonight, which is making it more tolerable.

9:41 - Right as I start typing about how Kevin McKenna is possibly the most underrated player on this Canadian squad, the commentators start talking about the same thing. De Guzman, Gerba, and ATIBA all have more flash, but McKenna's defence is what's really setting the others up. He's like a Sylvain Lefebvre who can't skate.

9:43 - DA ALI G SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

9:47 - Ali G is hurt on the ground. In a few months he'll come back as part of the Kazakh team.

9:52 - Ryan's random soccer-related memory: Going into work at the grocery store at noon on a Sunday, and being greeted by "yo, you guys watch the game?" After we all looked at each other in confusion - Sunday morning not being prime time for sports - "what game?" "Yo, Serbia/Belgium soccer guy!".

9:55 - Canada with lots of pressure and a couple of corners, but it looks like it'll be 1-0 when the halftime whistle goes.

9:57 - Yep, halftime. Thoughts to come.

10:05 - When the Canadian roster was announced for this tournament, I was fearing the worst. Many of our best players weren't selected - Dwayne De Rosario thanks to a backroom deal with Toronto FC, Jonathan de Guzman because he's pretending to be Dutch, March Bircham for who knows what reason - and I was worried that Will Johnson and friends wouldn't be up to the task. So far, I've been pleasantly surprised - they're gelling as a squad, and able to live up to Canada's bizarrely high standard of winning at the Gold Cup.

10:07 - Why does the 'sys rq' button on my laptop keyboard actually have the function you'd expect of an Insert key? And why do I have no Insert key?

10:11 - The old lady in the Bank of Montreal commercial creeps me out. I think that's the intent.

10:15 - Canada with a great chance but Patrice Bernier somehow missed the net. That could come back to haunt us.

10:20 - If I've learned nothing else from Football Manager, I've learned that this is way too soon to be calling the result a foregone conclusion. Someone tell that to Gerry Dobson.

10:26 - I've invented the Gerry Dobson Drinking Game. Take one drink anytime Gerry mentions that Klukowski was born in Austria but raised in Oshawa, that Ali Gerba is headed to Toronto FC after the Gold Cup, that TFC is *also* in negotiations for Julian De Guzman, that Greg Sutton is currently unattached, or that Kevin McKenna is underrated. Let's see how drunk you get Friday night. Bonus round: ten drinks anytime the word 'Peschisolido' is uttered, properly or otherwise.

10:29 - Paul Stalteri picks up the first yellow card of the night. Still one of the better players we've got tonight.

10:34 - Now is when you can start talking about El Salvador badly needing a goal to stay alive.

10:38 - Canada is visibly having some trouble on the teamwork front - they're not working together as fluidly as they were earlier in the night. Announcers suggest that we need some substitutions, I'm inclined to agree.

10:43 - I just bothered to do the math - if we win this, the only way we don't make the playoffs is if we lost to Costa Rica *and* El Salvador beats Jamaica. Then goal differentials and such come into play. But what are the odds of that?

10:46 - There's still time to go, but I won't be around for it. Sleep is beckoning, and I want to answer that call. I think the boys can hang on. This is one advantage to following Premiership/UEFA soccer - the games are all in the morning over here, you're falling asleep at the beginning.

--Ryan