Mirror, mirror

At the end of high school, I had a decision to make - what next?

On the one hand, I could go to Laurier Brantford. Yes, the campus is unbelievably small, but that just means it's easier for me to stand out! And the journalism program is basically brand new, so it's not like I'll be stuck with some old instructors who've been teaching the same thing for forty years (I'm not even sure I'd be able to successfully change a typewriter ribbon!). Plus I'll know somebody there next year - well, not next year if you think of my first year as next year, but if you think of it as this year. And everybody seems nice.

Alternatively, I could go to Carleton. There are some problems with this option. I won't know anybody in the area, and I'll be five hours away from home. I won't actually be in journalism, but I could take some journalism courses and maybe transfer into it later on. There's a good chance I'll be just another student. At the same time, I'll be in a bigger city, at an established school - both of which should mean more opportunities.

(It wasn't really much of a choice, but bear with me, the story doesn't work otherwise).

As most of you know, I picked the first road. And today, Sunday, February 22nd, 2009, I can finally say without a doubt that this was most definitely the right choice.

For I have discovered my archnemesis, and he is me. And apparently I work at Carleton (scroll down to the bottom of the page).

First things first, the picture (above). Like me, he is tall, of a Spartanesque height. However, his face is nothing like mine - which is good. It means I can eliminate my theory about me going to Carleton, getting mixed up with a sinister-yet-well-intentioned group of physics kids, building a time machine, coming back to 2009, and taking a job in Student Affairs to stop now-me from building the time machine. Unless I got facial reconstruction surgery so people wouldn't recognize me. But that seems unlikely.

Now onto his history. "I joined the federal public service in 2000". Hmm. One of the non-journalistic roads I've considered for my career, and I'd have to spend most of it battling a case of mistaken identity.

"I was involved in several high profile and dynamic issues". YEAH WELL IF THEY WERE SO HIGH-PROFILE HOW COME I'VE NEVER HEARD OF YOU?

"The environment at Carleton, and my role as Director, Student Affairs, allows me to work closely with the student population, and the relatively small campus community enables you to facilitate change quickly." - no witty rejoinder here, I just find it funny that Ryan Flanagan is calling Carleton a small campus after Ryan Flanagan said the exact opposite above.

"I am intent on building a real estate empire" - I don't even know what to think about this one. I own a house and rent most of it out, but that's for tax (me rather than my parents) and school (any of us at all) purposes only. I can't say I have the drive to expand, nor would I phrase it in such a Napoleonistic way.

"I bought my first property in 2007." - ...crap.

"In addition to these activities, I like to write creatively (when I have time!) and I'm a political news junkie." - ...double crap.

"Finally, I try to engage in physical activity as much as I can." - ...triple crap. Not because it hits close to home, but because Ryan Flanagan could kick my ass.

--Ryan