I'm good at faking it

(Because if there's one thing this blog needs, it's double-entendres in the subject line.)

Most of the time, I'm not a soccer fan. I've tried several times to watch Toronto FC games, but I just can't get into them. Ditto for the Premiership, where I've randomly picked both Arsenal and Newcastle as teams to root for. And I'm not about to try watching Italian or German domestic soccer.

However, all that seems to go out the window when international play is involved. I have no problem watching a meaningful Canada game without falling asleep, and the same goes for the two major international competitions - the World Cup and the European Championships.

And those of you who follow soccer are now probably able to figure out what I'm talking about - the Euros start tomorrow.

I'm not going to even try and guess who will win - the last tournament, in 2004, was won by Greece. The pre-tournament odds of Greece winning the whole thing were 100-1, or longer than they are for ANY country this year.

My question is this - who do I root for? There's a really simple way to do it...process of elimination.

I don't want to cheer for any team that's easy to support, because they always do well. So there goes France, Italy, Germany, Spain, and the Netherlands.

I also won't go for any team that does well in hockey, because I'd never cheer for them there. Sorry Sweden, Russia, and the Czech Republic - maybe next time.

Greece and Portugal are out due to their success in 2004, it'd be too easy to cheer for them now.

Austria and Romania are out because I really don't expect either of them to advance past the first round. I like the underdog, but not the overwhelming one.

So who am I left with? Switzerland, Turkey, Croatia, and Poland.

From there, I have no trouble picking two teams. In the 2006 World Cup, Switzerland was my team. They didn't make it as far as I'd hoped, but they were the team I was cheering for from the beginning. So they're in. And so is Poland, because I have Polish ancestry (my German ancestry does not trump my desire not to bandwagon, and Ireland didn't qualify).

Both countries definitely fulfill the underdog role - Switzerland has never advanced past the quarter-finals in the World Cup, and only qualified for two previous Euros (neither of which they got past the group stage). For their part, Poland did have a couple third-place World Cup finishes (1974 and 1982), but have been largely subpar ever since - and have never even made the Euros.

Is it cheating to cheer for two teams? I hope not. I'll probably narrow it down to one after watching a game of each anyhow.

--Ryan